whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
