I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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