i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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