You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize