i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
