So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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