Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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