Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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