I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
NoShamevember. You game?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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