wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
he puts the penis in happiness.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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