Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
