so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
