Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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