Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
