I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
