You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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