ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
