Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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