Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
