I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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