careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
