The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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