yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
