if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
