Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
