her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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