Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
