Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
