if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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