therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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