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• (301): View more from Maryland

  I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...

  (443): View more from Maryland

  How'd that go?

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Hes on his way with a baseball bat...

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• (925): View more from California

  I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me

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• (830): View more from Texas

  she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.

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• (408): View more from California

  Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.

  (1-617): View more from Massachusetts

  Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.

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• (631): View more from New York

  How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...

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• (352): View more from Florida

  Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.

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