I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
