That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize