I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
