Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
