its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
