So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
