i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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