I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
you had me at cake vodka
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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