If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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