So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
