Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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