There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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