that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
