this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
