Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
