So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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