I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
