ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
