Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
