i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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