3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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