garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He passed out mid-signature
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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