nut hugger
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
