it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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