This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
