Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
youre lurking in front of me
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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