Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
