Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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