Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
