He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
