it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
