sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
