i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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