I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
The air was thick with penises
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
